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Let's avoid topics that already have a long list of Democrat or Republican talking points or that name specific politicians."
St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?"
"Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?"
"Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven."
"Sounds easy enough. OK."
So Jesus manned the gates for St. Peter. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to sit down and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man and asked, "What did you do for a living?"
The old man replied, "I was a carpenter."
Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. "Did you have any family?" he asked.
"Yes, I had a son, but I lost him."
Jesus leaned forward some more. "You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?"
"Well, he had holes in his hands and feet."
Jesus leaned forward even more and whispered, "Father?"
The old man leaned forward and whispered, "Pinocchio?"
Is April now combined with March ?
Real Church Bloopers...
� Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
� Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
� Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
� For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
� Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
� This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
� Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
� A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
� At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
� The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
� Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
� The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
� Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
� 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
� The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
� Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
and last but not least...
� Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Just think that somewhere in the polar regions, they have massive heat wave ...... -65 instead of -70 ..... probably ten's of people happy bout that!
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