Factory Joke Thread – November 2014


This is the official POI Factory Joke thread.

It will be closed on the last day of the month and a new one will be opened.

Please read the forum rules before posting.

Have fun....


See also

Frequently Asked Questions

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Fresh parrot

A man and his wife go into an antique store and start looking around. They walk by the shop owner's parrot who looks at the man and says, "Hey!" The man looked at the parrot and the parrot says to him, "YOU'RE WIFE IS SOOOO UGLY!"
Suddenly the shop owner storms over to the parrot and starts slapping the parrot. "I've told you not to talk to the customers like that! I BETTER NOT CATCH YOU DOING IT AGAIN!" Then the shop owner turns to the man, "I'm sorry about my parrot. He won't bother you again."
So the shopkeeper goes back behind the counter and the man and his wife keep shopping. Then the parrot whispered at the man, "Hey!" The man went over to the parrot. The parrot looked around for the shop keeper and saw that he wasn't around. Then the parrot leaned in and whispered, "You know."

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

The Monks

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you because you're not a monk."
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.
The monks again accept him, feed him, and fix his car.
That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you, because you're not a monk."
The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"
The monks reply, "You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you know this, you will become a monk."
The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 grains of sand on the earth.
The monks reply, "Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound."
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is behind that door."
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, "May I have the key?"
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man requests the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say, "This is the key to the last door."
The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight...
...But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Three Short Puns

wo eggs a talking in a monastary. "I really don't like it here," says one.
"Why not?"
"Well, you know, it's always 'Out of the frying pan and into the friar'."

A guy was sitting in a nearly empty bar having some beers. He finished one and asked the bartender for another. He gave the guy another beer, along with a free bowl of peanuts. As he sat enjoying the nuts and beer, he heard a voice: "Whoa, man, do you look great today!" He looked around, but there was no one there.
"Nice shoes. And I just love that sweater, it looks so good on you!"
Bartender, did you hear that? I keep hearing voices saying how good I look and stuff, but there's no one around. What's going on here??
"It's the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

Three tomatoes are walking down the street; papa tomato, mama tomato, and baby tomato. Baby tomato is lagging behind, papa gets really angry, goes back and squishes him, says "Catch up".

The Dead Horse Theory of Bureaucracy

The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount".

However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses,
and, of course...
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
All the above are logical reasons why we still have a Senate!

Waffle and pancake walk into a bar

A waffle and a pancake walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

Brent - DriveLuxe 51 LMT-S
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