What is your favorite funny bumper sticker?


Along with the joke thread, I would like to hear everyone's favorite funny bumper sticker.

My old truck had one that said "Our gene pool needs chlorine"

NUVI40 Kingsport TN
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Bumper sticker

David King wrote:

Along with the joke thread, I would like to hear everyone's favorite funny bumper sticker.

My old truck had one that said "Our gene pool needs chlorine"

I saw a bumper sticker that read,
CAUTION: Student and Wife driver

"If you can read this, You

"If you can read this, You are to fu*k'n close!"

Life is tough....

It's tougher if you're stupid

I was behind a woman driving a convert the other day

I was behind a woman driving a Mustang convert the other day at the stop light and on the back of her car it said "If you think I look good now you should see me with my top down".

Garmin Drive Smart 55 - Samsung Note 10 Smartphone with Google Maps & HERE Apps

I gotta find this one

"Are you gonna cowboy up, or just lay there and bleed?"

nüvi 3790T | Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, will make violent revolution inevitable ~ JFK

On a Motorcycle

"If you can read this, my Bitch fell off"

"As life runs on, the road grows strange with faces new - and near the end. The milestones into headstones change, Neath every one a friend." - James Russell Lowell Garmin StreetPilot C330, Garmin NUVI 765T, Garmin DriveSmart 60LMT

License Plate: IFLUBYU

License Plate: IFLUBYU

Bumper Sticker

Try not to let your mind wander, it's too small to be out by itself.

NUVI40 Kingsport TN

Bumper Sticker

One day while riding my bike I stopped behind a woman in a car who was waiting for the traffic to clear.

Her bumper sticker...

"Want to get laid?
Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!"

I literally LOLed.

Ted - Garmin Nuvi 1450 LM

License Plate


Used to have a bumper

Used to have a bumper sticker that read BUMPER STICKER

Illiterate? Write for free help.

Hot Blonde, driving a Mercedes 560SL...

license plate "WAS HIS" not a bumper sticker but still funny as Hell smile

"You can't get there from here"

Bumper Sticker

Young Enough To Kick Your Ass-Old Enough To Pay The Bills.
Also another one, Outta Gas Eat More Beans.

seen while driving--

It's not that I'm old -- Your music really does suck

Saw a Toyota Echo a week or so ago with a "V8" emblem on the back...

Nuvi 2460, 680, DATUM Tymserve 2100, Trimble Thunderbolt, Ham radio, Macintosh, Linux, Windows


Saw a Smart that had a sticker on the back window...

Actual Size

NUVI40 Kingsport TN

"Honey Badger Don't Care"

"Honey Badger Don't Care"

Nuvi 760 (died 6/2013); Forerunner 305 bike/run; Inreach SE; MotionX Drive (iPhone)

B O Stinks

B O Stinks

Back in the day

On my van!

1490LMT 1450LMT 295w

I have a small list for ya...

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

11. Remember half the people you know are below average.

12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it is

13. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

14. For every idiot proof invention, they invent a better idiot.

15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

19. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

20. I intend to live forever - so far so good.

21. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

22. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

23. Mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

24. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

25. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

26. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

27. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

28. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

29. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

30. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

31. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

32. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

33. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

34. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

35. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

36. The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.

37. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

38. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

39. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

40. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

41. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

42. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

43. Two wrongs are only the beginning.

44. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

45. The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

46. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

47. Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

48. Get a new car for you spouse - it'll be a great trade!

49. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.

50. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

51. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

52. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...

53. Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

54. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

Ain't nuthin' never just right to do the things you wanna do when you wanna do them, so you best just go ahead and do them anyway ! (Rancid Crabtree, from Pat F McManus fame)


Keep honking, I'm reloading...

"For those who fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know."

Horn Broken .....

Horn Broken, Watch for Finger.

Hang Up and Drive.

A Former Co-Worker Gave This One to My Wife

"Your husband is the only child you have that won't grow up and move out." I wonder if she was trying to say something to my wife.

I know it was a long phrase, my wife never put it on her car, and that was over twenty years ago; but I still haven't moved out.

I liked the "I flew by you" license plate above, and I LOVED the bumber sticker that said "Bumper Sticker" Back in the 80's when there was generic everything, I can imagine the generic bumper sticker white background and black text.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled forum - already in progress . . .

Bumper sticker that I have wished for

“My ass goes slow when ridden”

It would feature a characterature of a broken down mule with an old prospector and a big car up close behind it.

As you might figure, I was real tied of people who follow too close for no reason.


Add this one

CAUTION: That light you see at the end of the tunnel could be a muzzle flash!

It's good to be the King

My wife had one that said "Men are idiots and I married their King"

Someone scraped it off.

NUVI40 Kingsport TN

Bumper Sticker

You mess with me, you mess with the whole trailer court.



my favorite is

Do not kiss me!

Do not kiss me!

On a truck

Yes this is my truck and No, I won't help you move


When I was young I used to dream of having a good BMW. I now have dropped the "w"


I once gave a deputy sheriff friend of mine one that stated "Bad Cop. No Donut." While he loved it, he refused to put it on his cruiser. It is on the door of his fridge though...

Drivesmart 66, Nuvi 2595LMT (Died), Nuvi 1490T (Died), Nuvi 260 (Died), GPSMAP 195

On a neighbor's pick-up

Silly Boy - Trucks are for Girls!

Garmin nüvi 3597LMTHD, 3760 LMT, & 255LMT, - "Those who wish for fairness without first protecting freedom will end up with neither freedom nor fairness." - Milton Friedman

Bumper Sticker

Somebody gonna get hurt!

On a rusted out 72 Chevy PU

My other truck is an old beater.

1490LMT 1450LMT 295w

Honey Dipper

On the back of a septic tank truck:

My Wife Keeps Her Nose Out Of My Business


i seen one on a bumper" I may be slow but im ahead of you "



If you see "old vehicle, new

If you see "old vehicle, fresh driver", what will you do?


Removed partisan comments.
Please refrain from posting them.

Thanks for your cooperation.



On the rear bumper of a Gasoline tanker truck

Printed in letters upside down.


I got two

Cancer cures smoking.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but 3 lefts does!

Can't go to work

I can't go to work today,
the voices told me to stay home and clean the guns.

bumper sticker

Seen on a car driven by beautiful girl.

"I'm naked from the neck down"

Are we there yet?

Seen in Valdosta, Georgia 20+ years ago

Help keep the South beautiful -- put a Yankee on the bus!

KD5XB in DM84

Prez reference

"Does this a$$ make my truck look big?"

One which can be adapted to your neck of the woods

Welcome to "Provence". Now Go Home !

(replace the bit between quotes...)

Ain't nuthin' never just right to do the things you wanna do when you wanna do them, so you best just go ahead and do them anyway ! (Rancid Crabtree, from Pat F McManus fame)

Thank you!!

GlobeTurtle wrote:

Removed partisan comments.
Please refrain from posting them.
Thanks for your cooperation.

Thank you Angela! I am offended by partisan comments being passed as humor also.

NUVI40 Kingsport TN

Good Ones

Good Ones

the flip side . ..

alleghany wrote:

"If you can read this, my Bitch fell off"

I saw many years ago is "If you can read this, the A*#hole won't let me drive."

And I have this one posted on my truck's back window: "JESUS LOVES YOU, The rest of us think you're an a*#hole."
Along with "Hang up and Drive."

Winston Churchill said, “Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing, after exhausting all other possibilities.”

Don't Squat...

"Don't Squat With Your Spurs On"

Tuckahoe Mike - Nuvi 3490LMT, Nuvi 260W, iPhone X, Mazda MX-5 Nav
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