"GPS JOI" - Jokes of Interest.
How to know when you're living "La Vida Locale" way too much with your GPS:
30) Geocaching is the art of using million-dollar military satellites for civilian scavenger hunts all for free.
29) Finding a Tupperware geocache with a plastic doll inside is better than finding the hidden immunity-idol on Survivor.
28) You geotag your metal-detector finds at the beach so you can return to the same spot again and look for more.
27) The speed indicator on your GPS redlines at 999 when you fly the Concorde to Europe and check your groundspeed onboard.
26) Your GPS screen shows so many POI that it looks like a target from your last paint-ball gun war games.
25) You helped the local Pastor replace the "you-have-arrived" checkered flag on his GPS with the Pearly Gates.
24) You know you've entered too many waypoints on your route when the GPS voice says, "Game over, insert quarter".
23) Hawaiian POI means vacation destinations instead of that starchy taro-root paste.
22) Russian Roulette means picking a random GPS "Favorites" destination for your wife's birthday-present trip.
21) The Bermuda Triangle is the satellite dead-zone in the airport radar approach pattern where your GPS freaks out.
20) You've tattooed your home latitude/longitude coordinates on your left arm, along with a Reward-If-Found message.
19) You've reprogrammed the Red Light/Speed Camera file to sound the alarm anytime you're near a donut shop.
18) You know that geostationary doesn't mean trying to pass a walking sobriety test without falling over.
17) You're using your old satellite TV dish antenna on your car as an external GPS antenna, and it really works.
16) When you get pulled over for speeding, you try to beat it by explaining your GPS can't track that fast.
15) Your favorite GPS menu selection is the one that answers "How many more exits?" when your kids ask you.
14) You've made your own custom GPS celebrity-voice using your Mother-In-Law.
13) You take your GPS with you on roller-coaster rides at amusement parks.
12) You know you need new Nav Maps when the voice in your GPS speaker says "eeny-meeny-miney-mo".
11) You fear the "Orange Screen of Death" when you drive off the end of the Nav Map and are now dead-reckoning.
10) You use Tripmaster on your GPS to make sure your kid is mowing every square inch of the lawn at your house.
9) You use the "When do you want to arrive?" feature on your GPS as a bedside alarm clock in the morning.
8) Easter-egg hunts for your kids are done using a list of geocache coordinates in your backyard.
7) You geocache your wallet and car keys inside your own home to remember where you last left them.
6) When your neighbor asks what your GPS actually does, you explain that it keeps you "Goin' Pretty Straight".
5) Your parrot whistles the Dutch national anthem whenever it hears the TomTom boot-up drum beats.
4) Your kids explain how their day in the neighborhood went using latitude & longitude coordinates.
3) Your POI BMP icons are your kid's faces, so you know when you drive by their favorite destinations.
2) Your back-up GPS consists of a world-globe and a C-clamp to secure it to your automobile dash.
1) If you're a male driver, you don't need to stop and ask directions. When you own a GPS, you're never lost; you just haven't arrived there yet.
Enjoy a whole month's work of GPS jokes.
Happy April Fool's Day to all.
Mike (c) 4-01-2009.
(31) You have added GPS coordinates to your business card, email signature, etc.
I like it! Coordinates on a business card.
terms | privacy | contactCopyright © 2006-2020