Factory Joke Thread – February 2018

 

This is the official POI Factory Joke thread.

It will be closed on the last day of the month and a new one will be opened.

Please read the forum rules before posting.

"POI Factory is not a forum for politically charged debate.
Let's avoid topics that already have a long list of Democrat or Republican talking points or that name specific politicians."

~Angela

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I love my wife

This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast and as I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all and I gave her a banging right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards, she said, "Thanks." and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She chuckled, "The egg timer's broken."

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Good One!!!

Good One!!!

--
Kingston, Tennessee

Hmmmm...was that for a one

Hmmmm...was that for a one minute or three minute egg?

LoL

Earthquake?

One lady golfer was a determined, if not very proficient, player. At each swipe she made at the ball, earth flew in all directions.
“Gracious me,” she exclaimed red-faced to her caddie, “the worms will think there’s been an earthquake.”
“I don’t know,” replied the caddie, “the worms around here are very clever. I’ll bet most of them are hiding underneath the ball for safety.”

How to get to Heaven from Ireland

A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher

I was testing children
in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of
getting to heaven.

'I asked them, ' If I
sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the
church, would that get me into heaven?'

'NO!' the children
answered.

'If I cleaned the church
every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me
into heaven?'

Again, the answer was
'NO!'

'If I gave sweets to all
the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into
heaven?'

Again, they all answered
'NO!'

I was just bursting with
pride for them. I continued, 'Then how can I get into heaven?'

A little boy shouted
out: 'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD.'

It's a curious race, the
Irish. Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?

--
GPSmap76Cx handheld, Nuvi 2557LMT, Nuvfi 2598LMTHD

A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat...

A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her student. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?!?!" the teacher yelled in shock. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!
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