Factory Joke Thread - June 2012

 

This is the official POI Factory Joke thread.

It will be closed on the last day of the month and a new one will be opened.

Have fun....

~Angela

See also

<<Page 2>>

Tame Bunny

David King wrote:

Know what an ethernet is?

Something for which to catch the Ether Bunny.

How do you catch a tame bunny?

Tame Way.

Natural Born Citizens ...

grin crying grin crying

--
Nuvi 2460

Baby Light

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in
the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in
the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a
lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm
doing."

Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the
lantern down... I think there's yet another wee one to come."

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.

"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern,
young man... It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the
doctor.

The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the
doctor: "Do ya think it's the light that's attractin' them?"

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Sorry for the groaner, but I had to post it!

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He walks up to the bar and
takes a seat, the giraffe does the same. The man orders a beer for
himself and a double scotch for the giraffe. They both proceed to
drink and after a while they order the same again. They continue all
night, ordering the same drinks, drinking them and ordering another
load untill suddenly the giraffe falls off his stool and lies
unconscious on the floor. The man gets up of his stool and heads for
the door, The barman shouts at him as he heads out the door 'You
can't leave that lyin' 'ere!' to which the man replies, 'Its not a
lion its a giraffe!

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

--
Cleveland, OH Nuvi 780

Purina Diet.....

I loved it!!! smile

--
Garmin Nüvi 265W

New Health Warning:

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.

When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.

When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.

When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you.

Warn all your friends.

Great Jokes

Keep um comming.

psychiatrist

Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a psychiatrist and told him. . . 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared.. I think I'm going crazy.' 'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrist.
'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..'
How much do you charge?'
Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the expert.
'I'll sleep on it,' I said.
Six months later, he met me on the street. 'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked. 'Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money thatI went and bought myself a new car!'
'Is that so?' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!'
FORGET THOSE LEARNED DOCTORS..
GO HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO YOUR BARTENDER.

--
1490LMT 1450LMT 295w

Titanic - The True Story

There are many stories related to the sinking of the "Titanic."
Some have just come to light due to the success of the recent movie.
For example, most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's
mayonnaise was manufactured in England. The "Titanic" was carrying
12,000
jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico
which
was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York
City.

The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were
disconsolate
at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning
which they still observe today.
It is known, of course, as...

Sinko de Mayo.

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

The Mexican

A Mexican family crosses over the border to the Land of Milk and
Honey where the streets are paved with gold. But the husband can find
no work.

His family is hungry, so he takes a walk to a quiet place at the foot
of a big hill, kneels at the base of a tree, and begins to pray:
"Sweet Jesus, please show me a way to feed my family..."

Eyes closed, the Mexican does not see the BLACK man coming over the
top of the hill, who is stumbling wildly with a broken grocery sack.
When the Mexican man opens his eyes, a large wheel of cheddar cheese
rolls down the hill an lands at his feet!

"Oh, thank you Jesus, thank you!" he cries, grabs the cheese, and
runs straight home. Upon returning home, he gives the cheese to his
wife and instructs her to make nachos.

"But wouldn't you rather have cheese enchiladas and burritos and
other things?" she inquires. "No," the husband says, "Jesus sent this
to me with a message... As I ran home,

I kept hearing Him yell, ' THAT'S NACHO CHEESE! THAT'S NACHO
CHEESE!'

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Arghhh

Timantide wrote:

Sinko de Mayo.

Boooooo

--
NUVI40 Kingsport TN

When my wife was 3 or 4 she

When my wife was 3 or 4 she had the same fear, so she told her older brother. He calmly showed her that there was nothing there. After a few weeks she was able to shut off her light and walk (not jump) to her bed. Then one night he hid under her bed with one of those furry gloves and grab her ankle. To this day she jumps into bed, but I'm usually fast asleep.

--
All the worlds indeed a stage and we are merely players. Rush

Three pints

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you
have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please." So the
bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately
sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then
orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to
order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low
I'll bring you a fresh cold one." The man says, "You don't understand.
I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a
vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together.
So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're
drinking together. The bartender thought that was a wonderful
tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then
one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then
ordered two more.

The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd
just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died." The
man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Today's groaner AKA (very bad joke)

A psychiatrist is doing rounds in his hospital with a couple of
students.
They look in on one patient and the psychiatrist says to his
students,"Sometimes this fellow thinks he's a temptress in a Bizet
opera,
but today, as you can see from his goose stepping, he thinks he's the
World War II head of the Nazi Luftwaffe. What condition do you think
he's
suffering from?"

The first student replies, "Is he a paranoid schizophrenic with a
multiple
personality disorder?"

The second student says, "No, I think he just doesn't know whether he's

Carmen or Goering"

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

the dirtiest joke I know

a white horse fell in the mud

--
Never argue with a pig. It makes you look foolish and it anoys the hell out of the pig!

Good One!!!

Good One!!!

--
Kingston, Tennessee

My racing snail wasn't

My racing snail wasn't winning any races, so to make it lighter and more aerodynamic I took the shell off.

If anything it's made it more sluggish.

Cowboy pride

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 'On a trip to the city, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face ... Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or I'm gonna kick your ASS!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Just a couple of minutes ago...'

The Snake Hunt

An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to

counter Soviet offensive tactics. That summer, the area had experienced
an
infestation of rattlesnakes. Officers and NCOs were given one magazine
of
live ammunition to counter this danger, as several men had already been

bitten.

So much ammunition was expended shooting, supposedly, at snakes that
the
post commander demanded that every officer and NCO who had shot at a
snake
present the dead snake as proof that the expenditure of rounds was
justifiable.

The next day, the post commander entered his office and spotted a shoe
box
on his desk. He opened it, revealing a sleepy and sluggish, but very
live,
rattlesnake. Inside the box were twenty expended cartridges, and a
short
note. The note said, "I missed!"

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Call me dense

Last week my boss said he was going to garnish my wages. Call me dense, but
I fail to see how a sprig of parsley in my paycheck will make it any more attractive

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Special Coffeecake

An overweight business associate of mine decided
it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took
his new diet seriously, even changing his driving
route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning,
however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic
coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile
remained cherubic.

"This is a very special coffeecake," he explained.
"I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning
and there in the window was a host of goodies.
I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord,
if you want me to have one of those delicious
coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly
in front of the bakery', and sure enough," he
continued, "the eighth time around the block,
there it was!"

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Secrets of a lasting marriage

My wife and I have all the secrets for making a marriage last:

1.Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship.
She goes Tuesday and I go Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in Cincinnati.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now.

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!"

10. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"... I said dust.

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

parking place

Paddy O'Rourke was almost late to a business appointment downtown. Alas. There was no vacant parking place. He prayed, "Lord, if you help me find a parking place I promise I will go to mass every Sunday." Next time around he prays, "Lord I promise I will tithe my 10 per cent every week." Just then a lady pulls out from a spot just ahead. He says, "Lord, never mind. I found one by myself."

--
1490LMT 1450LMT 295w

Golf course conversation

A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him.

The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first few holes.
The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"

The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.

As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00.
He confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.

The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation... and, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."

--
Cleveland, OH Nuvi 780

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven...He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.'
Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St.. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.'
St.. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?'
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.'
Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..'
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.
'How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'
Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'
Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '
'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name'?
'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.'
'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'
'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song, ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'

Lord, Give me a sense of humor. Give me the ability to appreciate a clean joke, To get some humor out of life, And to pass it on to other folks !

--
GPSmap76Cx handheld, Nuvi 2557LMT, Nuvfi 2598LMTHD

Forest Gump

grin This one's been around awhile but still makes me smile ...

--
Nuvi 2460

And thank you

HerbSch wrote:

... Lord, Give me a sense of humor. Give me the ability to appreciate a clean joke, To get some humor out of life, And to pass it on to other folks !

Funny!

David King wrote:

Know what an ethernet is?

Something for which to catch the Ether Bunny.

Funny!

--
Garmin c340, Nuvi 350, Nuvi 765T, Nuvi 2360LMT

THE HILLBILLY VASECTOMY

After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as theycould not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousindidn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that couldfix the problem, but that it was expensive.. "A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherrybomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can(COORS), then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10." The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in theshed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my earis going to help me." "Trust me," said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count! '1' '2' '3' '4' '5' (you'll love this...) At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continuedcounting on his other hand. This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, and parts of Georgia, Missouri, and WestVirginia and.......... ALL of Washington DC .

--
johnm405 660 & MSS&T

Smart Guy

An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% .
The elderly gentleman went back to the doctor a month later, and the doctor said 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

--
Nuvi2797LMT (2) Nuvi260,Ford Sync3 Navigation. Captain Cook was a Yorkshire man too.

1490LMT

My cousin said he & wife went to the movies last Saturday. As he approached his parked car, he saw the passenger door was ajar. "Oh no. I put my GPS on the floor. I bet it is gone." Surprise. When he opened the door he saw that someone else had thrown their 1490 in there too.

--
1490LMT 1450LMT 295w

Loving it!!

I'm loving this thread of jokes!!! Keep it coming.

--
Garmin Nüvi 265W

Finding Religion

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service
on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds
to walk into the water and stand next to the
preacher.

The minister notices the old drunk and says,
"Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, preacher,
I sure am."

The minister dunks the fellow under the water
and pulls him right back up.

"Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asks.

"Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite
a bit longer, brings him up, and says, "Now,
brother, have you found Jesus?"

"Noooo, I have not, reverend."

The preacher, in disgust, holds the man under
for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him
out of the water, and says in a harsh tone, "My
God, man, have you found Jesus yet?"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and says to the
preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell
in?"

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Highly Illogical

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere

in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math,
history
and logic.

"What's logic?" asked Bubba.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a
weed-whacker?"

"I sure do," answered the redneck.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the
professor.

"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a

yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZIN'!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are
heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why, that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever

heard of! I cain't wait to take this here logic class."

Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the
hallway where Cooter is still waiting.

"So, what classes are ya takin?" he asks.

"Math, history and logic," replies Bubba.

Cooter says, "What in tarnation is logic?"

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"

"No."

"You're gay, ain't ya?"

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

A Push Please

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud
pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing

in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He
slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out
there!"
"Well, you have a short memory,² says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those

two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be
ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the
pounding
rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here - on the swing!" replies the drunk.

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Ha!

Timantide wrote:

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere

Thanks!
Always like the surprise endings!

Ron

Montana Romance

A cowboy, a sheep, and a dog were survivors
of a terrible plane crash. They found themselves
stranded on the prairie. After being there a
while, they got into the habit of going to the
mesa every evening to watch the sun go down.
One particular evening, the sky was red with
beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm
and gentle; a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there atop the mesa, the sheep
started looking better and better to the cowboy.
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his
arm around it. But the dog got jealous, growling
fiercely until the cowboy took his arm from around
the sheep. After that, the three of them continued
to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was
no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there
was another plane crash. The only survivor was
a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman
the cowboy had ever seen. She was in a pretty
bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly
nursed her back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, they
introduced her to their evening ritual. It was
another beautiful evening: red sky, cirrus clouds,
a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night
of romance.

Pretty soon, the redneck started to get "those
feelings" again. He fought them as long as he
could, but he finally gave in and leaned over
to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered
in her ear... "Would you mind taking the dog
for a walk?"

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Ha Ha Ha

The police officer pulled a speeding car over and approached the driver. "Do you know how fast you were diving?"

The driver replied, "50 miles an hour."

Whereupon the man's wife sitting in the passenger's seat spoke up. "Why, David you know you were going over 85 miles an hour and I told you to slow down or you would get a ticket."

David remained silent while the officer asked him for his driver's license, registration and proof of insurance. The driver fumbled around in pockets and wallet for a while and then explained to the officer that the papers were at home in his other wallet. Once again the wife responded, "David, you know that's not true. I've been after you for three weeks to renew your license and registration."

As the officer was writing out a summons, he ducked down and looked over to the wife. "It must be terribly difficult living with a man who lies so easily."

The wife responded, "Actually, office, my husband is a wonderfully honest, law abiding citizen except when he is drunk!"

Bubba and Johnny Ray, two

Bubba and Johnny Ray, two good ole boys from North Carolina, were sitting' on the front porch drinking beer when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by.

"I'm gonna do that when I win the lottery," said Bubba.

"Do what?" asked Johnny Ray.

"Send my grass out to be mowed," answered Bubba.

This one was....

very entertaining.

--
RKF (Brookeville, MD) Garmin Nuvi 660, 360 & Street Pilot

Did you hear

Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible but the reception was great.

They walk among us

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.

The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands.

'Now,' she asked me,'Has your plane arrived yet?'...

(I work with professionals like this.)

--
Ain't nuthin' never just right to do the things you wanna do when you wanna do them, so you best just go ahead and do them anyway ! (Rancid Crabtree, from Pat F McManus fame)

They really walk among us

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza “to go”.

He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

--
Ain't nuthin' never just right to do the things you wanna do when you wanna do them, so you best just go ahead and do them anyway ! (Rancid Crabtree, from Pat F McManus fame)

Traffic Camera

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding...

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.

He tried a fourth time with the same result..

He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace...

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..

--
Ain't nuthin' never just right to do the things you wanna do when you wanna do them, so you best just go ahead and do them anyway ! (Rancid Crabtree, from Pat F McManus fame)

You were warned, they walk among us...

While looking at a house, my brother asked the
Estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'

My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime.

She shook her head and said,

'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'

--
Ain't nuthin' never just right to do the things you wanna do when you wanna do them, so you best just go ahead and do them anyway ! (Rancid Crabtree, from Pat F McManus fame)

Me FIrst

spera wrote:

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. .

I already did this one in another thread. It was a true story by the way.

You are forgiven. wink

--
NUVI40 Kingsport TN

Good One!!!

Good One!!!

--
Kingston, Tennessee

Guy goes into a library and

Guy goes into a library and says quite loudly, "I hope they don't have a book on reverse psychology"!

Just Don't Do It!

From The Simpsons:

Homer's Brain: "Don't you get it? You've gotta use reverse psychology."

Homer: "That sounds too complicated."

Homer's Brain: "OK, don't use reverse psychology."

Homer: "All right, I will!"

--
Garmin nüvi 3597LMTHD, 3760 LMT, & 255LMT, - "Those who wish for fairness without first protecting freedom will end up with neither freedom nor fairness." - Milton Friedman
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