does anybody like hot sauce?

 

With the stay at home, this kind of stuff has been used up. I had a Tabasco, then I had some Asian chili oil, all gone.

So my wife says you have something in the back there (of the cupboard). I pull it out, and it's Frank's expired in 2012. Buddy said it's fine, but I didn't want to use it.

Start looking online and here we go again, gouge central! lol

Scored amazon Frank's for $4.25. But it's not hot, it's more like a dipping sauce.

In my travels I found you can't really get Tabasco online for a fair price, but they have an online store. and I saw there were things I never heard of, Scorpion, Habanero, reserve, etc.

The Scoville scale says

Frank's 450
Tabasco 2,500-5,000 (not sure why a range?)
Tabasco Habanero > 7,000
Tabasco Scorpion 35,000

So I ordered some Scorpion, Habanero, and the regular stuff. Was 10% off and free shipping--on the UPS truck for delivery today! Made it out of LA before the bad weather. It's the little things.

p.s. again why is the original Tabasco a range of 2500-5000, one would think it's consistent...

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Batches

johnnatash4 wrote:

.

p.s. again why is the original Tabasco a range of 2500-5000, one would think it's consistent...

Because it's fermented in thousands of 55 gallon barrels at one time. then they are all mixed together to make one batch for bottling. the peppers are all grown on the island where Tobasco is, and the peppers can have different heat depending on soil differences across the fields, as well as year to year. Since they don't do testing, like bourbon or whiskey for the batch, the total batch of 100,000 or more bottles can vary. They don't test it, they just bottle it.

The hotter stuff is made in much smaller batches and testing is a little more practical.

And if you believe all that, I got a couple islands in New Mexico I'l like to sell you.

smile smile smile

--
Frank DriveSmart55 37.322760, -79.511267

How they make Tobasco Sauce

--
nüvi 3790T | nüvi 775T | Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, will make violent revolution inevitable ~ JFK

Tabasco sauce

..on just about everything. Great on scrambled eggs, great in soups. About the only thing it does seem to spice up is Chinese food. For that I have to stick with the traditional brewed Soy sauce.

--
-Quest, Nuvi 1390T

Crystal hot sauce is also quite nice.

--
non-native nutmegger

Not my cup of tea ..

I don't like stuff that is hotter coming out than it is going in surprised ....

That said, I have a buddy that likes it so much he has a little holster made for a travel size bottle of the stuff, he likes the real deal not some watered down restaurant version.

--
. 2 Garmin DriveSmart 61 LMT-S, Nuvi 2689, 2 Nuvi 2460, Zumo 550, Zumo 450, Uniden R3 radar detector with GPS built in, includes RLC info. Uconnect 430N Garmin based, built into my Jeep. .

There are only three things

There are only three things in life that would make Navy powdered eggs edible. Tobasco, Texas Pete, or ketchup!

--
Frank DriveSmart55 37.322760, -79.511267

Insanity

I like Dave's insanity. I just checked the website and they have an Ultimate Inanity now which rates up to 16,000,000 scovilles. The regular one is "only" 250000 to a Million Scovilles.

Louisiana Hot Sauce

Louisiana Hot Sauce has the best flavor & is not too hot. May not be available everywhere but is on Amazon.

--
Nuvi 2460LMT

Heinz ketchup variations

If you are a ketchup fan and like spicy foods, Heinz makes a Hot & Spicy Ketchup with Tabasco. In the Philadelphia area it isn't easy to find in grocery stores but I find it in the Dollar Tree Stores for $1 (14 ox bottle).

There is also a Jalapeno version and a Sriracha version, also 14 oz, that I get at Target for $2.60.

They say 50% of Americans put ketchup on hot dogs and the other 50% just won't admit to doing it.

--
John from PA

I must be part of the 0.00% then ...

John from PA wrote:

~snip~

They say 50% of Americans put ketchup on hot dogs and the other 50% just won't admit to doing it.

No way, nada, never, Two things ketchup does not ever go on, a hot dog or soft pretzel.

.

--
. 2 Garmin DriveSmart 61 LMT-S, Nuvi 2689, 2 Nuvi 2460, Zumo 550, Zumo 450, Uniden R3 radar detector with GPS built in, includes RLC info. Uconnect 430N Garmin based, built into my Jeep. .

Hot pepperts

Carolina Reaper 2,200,000 SHU. Trinidad Moruga Scorpion 2,009,231 SHU. 7 Pot Douglah 1,853,936 SHU. 7 Pot Primo 1,469,000 SHU.
They have been known to stop people from breathing

--
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

Love it

Every time that we go to Mexico, I will come back with about 5-6 bottles of the Mexican variety. Nothing compares to the hot sauces that they produce south of the border. One time a few years back, I bought a lime based version. You could actually taste the limes as an after note in the hot sauce. Loved that stuff! The next time that we went, I looked for it, but couldn't find any. Should have bought more the first time.

--
It is impossible to rightly govern a nation without God and the Bible. ----George Washington

how do you eat scrapple?

John from PA wrote:

If you are a ketchup fan and like spicy foods, Heinz makes a Hot & Spicy Ketchup with Tabasco. In the Philadelphia area it isn't easy to find in grocery stores but I find it in the Dollar Tree Stores for $1 (14 ox bottle).

There is also a Jalapeno version and a Sriracha version, also 14 oz, that I get at Target for $2.60.

They say 50% of Americans put ketchup on hot dogs and the other 50% just won't admit to doing it.

If this isn't too personal, how do you eat scrapple???

How do you eat scrapple

Actually just fried to a crunchy outside but now you have me wondering. When I’m in Scotland, I also have haggis (for breakfast) pan fried but sometimes with just a bit of A-1 sauce.

--
John from PA

Hot sauces

slobeavis wrote:

I like Dave's insanity. I just checked the website and they have an Ultimate Inanity now which rates up to 16,000,000 scovilles. The regular one is "only" 250000 to a Million Scovilles.

To correct:

Dave's Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce is even hotter than the legendary original Dave's Insanity Sauce, which is about 180,000 Scoville Units. Dave's Ultimate Insanity takes the heat level up to 250,000 SHU, made with Red Habanero Peppers, hot pepper extract, and red chiles.
You can buy it for 5 oz $ 9.95
https://www.dochotties.com/products/daves-gourmet-ultimate-i...

Further, this is proclaimed to be the hottest sauce in the world!!!
The world's hottest sauce is called Mad Dog 357 Plutonium No. 9 and comes in at 9 million Scoville Hotness Units (SHUs)
This comes in a 1 oz bottle and can you buy it for $ 104 on sale at
https://www.hotsauce.com/mad-dog-357-plutonium-9-million-sco...

johnatash, you can buy 128 oz of the Ultimate Insanity sauce for $ 139.00 that should last you for a week or so, lol!
https://www.hotsauce.com/search.php?search_query=daves

I have a friend who says if you can still taste what you're eating the sauce ain't hot enough !!!

--
Nuvi 350 long gone, Nuvi 855LMT, Nuvi 2797LMT, DriveSmart 50 LMT-HD, 3790LMT now my daughters. Using Windows 10. DashCam A108C with GPS.

Hot Sauce

One of the hottest of hot sauces I ever had was from a friend that collected this fire breathing stuff. It was called Capital Punishment and it had a Chile Pepper sitting in an electric chair on the label.

I used to love all the hot sauces but at my age, I can no longer tolerate the stuff except for Tabasco and the mild ones.

--
Dudlee

are

soberbyker wrote:
John from PA wrote:

~snip~

They say 50% of Americans put ketchup on hot dogs and the other 50% just won't admit to doing it.

No way, nada, never, Two things ketchup does not ever go on, a hot dog or soft pretzel.

.

you originally from Chicago? Used to be that ketchup was not available at all, in hot dog joints there. Before I came to Phila. I had never heard of a soft pretzel. It's definitely not shaped in what I would think of when I think of Bavaria here. Also, get this, never heard of Old Bay!

The hot sauce came and I gotta say paying $6 a bottle feels better than $11 lol At least directly from Tabasco it's like buying at face value, not marked up. And they pack it super well--lately stuff has come broken from amazon/USPS. Amazon ships tons of stuff in mfg packaging, no longer in their own box at times. There was no way the Tabasco could have gotten broken--they had bubble wrap many times around 2 bottles at a time (I got 4 Scorpion and 4 Habanero, 2 of the regular). I don't like to push products but if you want their brand, order directly from them. In their amazon store it's marked up as well. I was going to get a restaurant caddy with the Tabasco logo to display my new sauces at the dinner table, a marina in IL has them for $6 plus $10 shipping (maybe buy 3 to absorb the shipping), but wife says that's going way too far lol

LOVE Hot Sauces

I'm a long-time fan of Tobasco sauce. I used to grow Habaneros and make my own hot sauce for dipping. It was so hot very few folks who tried it could stand the heat. Haven't made any for some time now. Will have to make another round of it.

--
Tuckahoe Mike - Nuvi 3490LMT, Nuvi 260W, iPhone X, Mazda MX-5 Nav

Thanks..

This information is useful.

--
RKF (Bethesda, MD) Garmin Nuvi 660, 360 & Street Pilot

Hot sauce

slobeavis wrote:

I like Dave's insanity. I just checked the website and they have an Ultimate Inanity now which rates up to 16,000,000 scovilles. The regular one is "only" 250000 to a Million Scovilles.

My kids know I like hot sauce. To me, Tabasco sauce is like ketchup (too mild to be "hot sauce"). They started upping the ante. One year they got me a bottle of Dave's Private Reserve (same "Dave" that makes Insanity and Ultimate Insanity).

The bottle came with warnings about avoiding use if you have cardiac or respiratory conditions and says "use only one drop at a time". I took the warning seriously.

I made a batch of five quarts of soup. I put *one drop* of Dave's Private Reserve on a spoon and stirred it into the *five quarts* of soup. I carefully tasted it with a clean spoon, expecting a mild tingle and need to add a little more. Severe pain. I couldn't taste any ingredient in the soup except the pepper in the sauce. I burned my mouth and throat. I needed alcohol and dairy and half an hour to breathe comfortably. I had to throw out the entire five quarts of soup.

So be careful what you wish for. It is possible to make weapons-grade hot sauce. Dave does it by using pounds of the hottest peppers that can be grown and boiling them down to an extremely concentrated level.

A good hot sauce enhances the flavor of the food it's added to. It shouldn't be the only thing you taste.

There are lots of YouTube videos of people inflicting severe pain on themselves eating spicy food. Here's a good one with mean British chef Gordon Ramsay--starts slowly, but by the end, he's cursing out the production crew:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEYf6SnAk5M

--
"141 could draw faster than he, but Irving was looking for 143..."

Tabasco Sauce

TABASCO® BRAND CHIPOTLE PEPPER SAUCE is my favorite hot sauce. It has good flavor and a little bit of heat. Back in the day I would eat some fiery stuff, but cannot do it anymore.

On a recent trip to NOLA, we went into the Tabasco Store on Jackson Square. I got bold and tried the Scorpion sauce and it was major hot. Immediately I got a red flush on my face, lots of phlem production, and a noticeable change in breathing. This lasted about two minutes and reminded me that I should be done with the really hot stuff.

Back in college, a friend of mine had a date with one of the McIlhenny daughters. We joked with him and told him he had a "hot" date!!!

While on the topic, a salsa recipe

Xnipec (Aztec for Dog’s Breath) Salsa

Caution: if you wear contact lenses it is suggested that you wear gloves when working with habanero chilies. The capsaicin (“the heat”) will remain on your hands for several days in spite of the best washing efforts. Jalapeno chilies have about 1/10 the capsaicin of a habanero and usually washing your hands about 4 to 5 times with dishwashing detergent will remove virtually all the capsaicin from your hands.

1 large onion, diced (preferably red or purple)

4 limes, juiced, should yield about ½ cup juice (use pulp if desired)

3-4 habanero chilies, stems and seeds removed, diced (if unavailable try Serrano peppers)

4-6 Italian plum tomatoes, finely diced (any nice colorful tomato can be used, just make sure juice is drained off and reserved if a particularly juicy variety is used). Suggestion: quarter tomatoes, remove internal white ribs and seeds then dice finely. Save the internal white ribs and seeds and after a few hours, if you need additional liquid, add back the juice at the bottom of the container used for reserving the ribs and seeds from the tomatoes.

Dice the onion and soak in the limejuice for at least 30 minutes. Dice the tomatoes and drain off some of the liquid but reserve for possible later use. Combine the onion and lime juice mixture with the chilies and tomatoes; add a pinch of salt if desired. Add back in the tomato juice or some water if desired.

Yield: approximately two cups of very hot salsa

Notes:

1. You can split the recipe into equal parts and add ½ to 1 habanero chili to one portion for wimps (yields mild to medium) and about 2½ chilies to the second portion for people serious about their salsa (serious heat).

2. Jalapeno chilies can be substituted but it takes about (2) for a mild to medium salsa.

--
John from PA

Boo... Hiss.... Jalapeno.. !!!!!

When we go back to visit our home town in Oklahoma, they are out of control with hot stuff. I suppose hot sauce is on the table, but they put in everything and don't tell you.

Jalapeno makes me sick and does not agree with my wife either. She ordered a BLT at a small restaurant. Seems safe enough?...NOT.... They put a lot of Jalapeno in the mayonnaise and it made her sick and miserable.

Sooo..... Burn your self up, but please understand that not everyone can eat that stuff. We should not have to ask about everything we order, or ask "What can we order her that will not have hot sauce or other hot peppers in it?."

End of rant !!!!!

--
rvOutrider

All American made "hot"

All American made "hot" sauce (eg Tabasco, Tapatio) tastes more like sour sauce to me. Both wife and I have high tolerance for spicy food. Wife can't eat without hot sauce or fresh Thai/Jalapeno chili. We settle for Sriracha hot sauce but it isn't spicy enough for us.

Thanks

Enjoy

thank you

the video was very interesting.

If something is TOO hot for you

DO NOT drink water, milk or anything!!!!! Makes it feel even hotter.

The way to relieve the heat is by eating 1/8 teaspoon of salt. Repeat if necessary !!!!!

Was taught this by a Mexican waiter when I had this happen to me!

BTW: I eat Serrano peppers ( 10,000–23,000 SHU) quite regularly when I'm in Mexico.

Different peppers with their SHU ratings:
https://www.chilipeppermadness.com/chili-pepper-types/

--
Nuvi 350 long gone, Nuvi 855LMT, Nuvi 2797LMT, DriveSmart 50 LMT-HD, 3790LMT now my daughters. Using Windows 10. DashCam A108C with GPS.

you can also eat a pack of

you can also eat a pack of sugar. Anything abrasive to scrape the oil off.

--
Frank DriveSmart55 37.322760, -79.511267

.

Melaqueman wrote:

DO NOT drink water, milk or anything!!!!! Makes it feel even hotter.

The way to relieve the heat is by eating 1/8 teaspoon of salt. Repeat if necessary !!!!!

Was taught this by a Mexican waiter when I had this happen to me!

BTW: I eat Serrano peppers ( 10,000–23,000 SHU) quite regularly when I'm in Mexico.

What works for me is warm water. Cold/ice water alleviates the burn but it comes right back after the water is no longer in my mouth. If I take some lukewarm water, the burn becomes more intense but disappears as soon as the water is gone. When I was a kid, I ate so much fresh chillies (like this https://www.pepperscale.com/thai-peppers/) till if affects my hearing momentarily, yes, I became deaf for a few minutes.

Why put yourself through this pain?

Just avoid the hot stuff. I am admittedly a "bland" person and get no pleasure from masochistic taste stimulation. Give me a good cup of home made ice cream any day! wink

--
Alan - Android Auto, DriveLuxe 51LMT-S, DriveLuxe 50LMTHD, Nuvi 3597LMTHD, Oregon 550T, Nuvi 855, Nuvi 755T, Lowrance Endura Sierra, Bosch Nyon

Not as Hot As When I was Yonger

I have a half dozen or so different hot sauses but I seem to use two 90% of the time Sriracha when I want a little extra heat without changing the flavor a lot and Texas Pete for general use. The other 10% depends on my mood.

question

Hey question, all......hot sauce does not need to be refrigerated, correct? But does anybody refrigerate anyway? I prefer to do so--doesn't hurt it in any way, does it?

I just prefer to refrigerate all the condiments, but I clearly remember as a waiter nothing got refrigerated like ketchup, mustard, worcestershire, soy, etc. Back then people were not overly sensitive. the cook smoked while he cooked, and every once in a while a customer would complain the coffee creamer was spoiled (we'd place them out, then put them back, then place them out, and the FIFO would get all messed up)...

You're welcome

bsp131 wrote:

the video was very interesting.

I thought it was neat to see how they made it.

--
nüvi 3790T | nüvi 775T | Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, will make violent revolution inevitable ~ JFK

As far as jalapeno type

As far as jalapeno type pepper sauces go the Tobasco Chipotle is very good, but as far as unsmoked pepper sauces go Palo Alto Firefighter's pepper sauce is the king of jalapeno sauces. I tried an absolute boatload of jalapeno sauces from everywhere just to find that the best I know of is from California.

And.... their Habanero and Ghost Pepper sauces share the same general flavor profile overall, but have differing heat levels and pepper nuances.

--
The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe(')

2 go to sauces...

I enjoys Tapatio hot sauce on almost everything. Prefer Franks on hot wings.

think

Frside007 wrote:

I enjoys Tapatio hot sauce on almost everything. Prefer Franks on hot wings.

Frank's alone is reminiscent of wings (just the flavor alone, not because it is in the original wing recipe).

So for hot and extra hot wings, does a restaurant need to add other hot sauces to achieve the heat? Because Frank's is very mild.

We could all date ourselves and say how much wings cost when we were in college, I'd be embarrassed to say. But I will say this...during the recession in 2009, there was a place in Manayunk in Phila., where once a week there were 25 cent wings. In this day and age they're like $1? I think we'd have to be rich to afford that!

Hot Sauce

McCormick's has made a Hot Sauce with Old Bay seasoning in it.

I bought a bottle, but haven't had a chance to try it yet.

Hot sauces?

It really comes down to this, to some people a bit of salt or pepper is too much.
For instance I like horseradish that makes my eyes water and my nose run.
In Mexico I love POBLANO soup which is really only mildly spicy but friends think its too much.

Poblano pepper 1,000-2,500 SHU
Jalopeno peppers are not really that hot! 2,500 - 8,000 SHU
Serrano pepper getting hot at 10,000–23,000 SHU
Habanero peppers are hot at 100,000–350,000 SHU

100–8,000 Scoville Heat Units: Most Major-brand hot sauces

To experience "Johnny Cash's song "Ring of fire" try
Currently one of the hottest pepper is the Carolina Reaper at
1,569,300 an average SHU " Exceptionally hot "
But the Pepper X beats it at 3,180,000 (unofficial) SHU

In my opinion, the more "HOT" sauce you buy for the least cost, they ain't hot!!!

If you want to try a Caroline Reaper Hot sauce, Walmart sells it by mail at $ 1.48 for 3/4 ounce. $ 5.95 delivery.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Ass-Kickin-Carolina-Reaper-Hot-Sa...

Bon Appétit

--
Nuvi 350 long gone, Nuvi 855LMT, Nuvi 2797LMT, DriveSmart 50 LMT-HD, 3790LMT now my daughters. Using Windows 10. DashCam A108C with GPS.

Eye protection

John from PA wrote:

Xnipec (Aztec for Dog’s Breath) Salsa

Caution: if you wear contact lenses it is suggested that you wear gloves when working with habanero chilies. The capsaicin (“the heat”) will remain on your hands for several days in spite of the best washing efforts.

Excellent advice. Many years ago I cut up a batch of peppers, and even though I washed my hands repeatedly, when I removed my contacts that night I got an eyeful, so to speak. Worse, when I put them in the next morning, same thing. The oil was still on the contacts, and this was before the advent of disposables. So I had only one pair. Fortunately there were enzyme tablets you used weekly to remove protein buildup from the lenses. Three enzyme cleanings in succession made them wearable again.

--
"Recalculating... drive 0.2 miles, then abandon vehicle." ------------- [ETrex Venture CX; Nüvi 40]

Been there done that, bought the shirt, didn't want the hat

Dsorgnzd wrote:
John from PA wrote:

Xnipec (Aztec for Dog’s Breath) Salsa

Caution: if you wear contact lenses it is suggested that you wear gloves when working with habanero chilies. The capsaicin (“the heat”) will remain on your hands for several days in spite of the best washing efforts.

Excellent advice. Many years ago I cut up a batch of peppers, and even though I washed my hands repeatedly, when I removed my contacts that night I got an eyeful, so to speak. Worse, when I put them in the next morning, same thing. The oil was still on the contacts, and this was before the advent of disposables. So I had only one pair. Fortunately there were enzyme tablets you used weekly to remove protein buildup from the lenses. Three enzyme cleanings in succession made them wearable again.

--
John from PA

Cholula

Is the best.

They're all the world's hottest

I find it amusing that hot sauce bottles all claim to be the world's hottest sauce. We used to have a store here in town that sold nothing but hot sauce (it was gone in about a year). I was in there only once and as I browsed the shelves it struck me that every bottle's label claimed to be blisteringly hot. I wasn't surprised the store didn't last very long.

Phil

--
Phil in Mentor, Ohio -- Garmin Nuvi 1450

Melaqueman's tip re Salt

Melaqueman wrote:

DO NOT drink water, milk or anything!!!!! Makes it feel even hotter.

The way to relieve the heat is by eating 1/8 teaspoon of salt. Repeat if necessary !!!!!

Was taught this by a Mexican waiter when I had this happen to me!

Melaqueman: I had not heard that one before. I will have to remember that. It's counter-intuitive to me, because salt is a flavor enhancer, but it's really being used here to scrape away the oil. That's the problem with water-based remedies; they just spread the oil around more without removing it.

This is a "cool" thread!

--
"141 could draw faster than he, but Irving was looking for 143..."

Honey

Melaqueman wrote:

DO NOT drink water, milk or anything!!!!! Makes it feel even hotter.

The way to relieve the heat is by eating 1/8 teaspoon of salt. Repeat if necessary !!!!!

Was taught this by a Mexican waiter when I had this happen to me!
...

The Hispanic server at our local cantina recommends honey. She carries a few of those single serve packs in her apron for when needed. But yes, never water or milk. I've not heard of salt before but will remember to try it the next time as it's right on the table and honey isn't always.

--
"There's no substitute for local knowledge" nüvi 750, nüvi 3597

Got a bottle too hot to eat in my fridge.

Only 180,000 Scoville but still too hot for me to use very often.

I

still have not opened the Scorpion nor the habanero Tabasco. The regular suits me, but I will try at some point...

.

I was told to have a bit of bread, as it absorbs the oils. I just go one better, and not go past 5,000 Scovilles. Simple. smile

--
nüvi 3790T | nüvi 775T | Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, will make violent revolution inevitable ~ JFK

This is about a Chili eating contest

I had posted this in the Factory Joke thread, but it sure fits into this discussion thread!

New Mexico Chili Cook-Off
If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico.

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in New Mexico , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza .

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank,who was visiting from Gering , Nebraska. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT .. Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 -- No report

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Nuvi 350 long gone, Nuvi 855LMT, Nuvi 2797LMT, DriveSmart 50 LMT-HD, 3790LMT now my daughters. Using Windows 10. DashCam A108C with GPS.

Is this Lawton?

Is this Lawton?

Hot Sauce

"Try me Tiger Sauce" is my recent favorite. For a long time I didn't try it because I figured something named Tiger Sauce would be brutally hot, but it's not. "Louisiana" is good too.

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