Factory Joke Thread – March 2018

 

This is the official POI Factory Joke thread.

It will be closed on the last day of the month and a new one will be opened.

Please read the forum rules before posting.

"POI Factory is not a forum for politically charged debate.
Let's avoid topics that already have a long list of Democrat or Republican talking points or that name specific politicians."

~Angela

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Get it right

A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...
The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!

The Boy Scout Joke LOL

That Boy Scout joke is a good one. I had a troop leader with a dead pan sense of humor like that back in the day. Good memories.

the bell ringer did it

On hearing her grandfather had died, Kate went to her grandparents house to comfort her 95 year old grandmother. When she asked her how grandfather had died, her grandmother told her , he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning. Horrified Kate told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. Oh no dear replied the old woman. Years ago we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells were ringing. It was the right rhythm, nice and slow. Just in on the ding and out on the dong. She paused to wipe away a tear. He'd still be alive if mr wippy the new bell ringer hadn't come along

Short Ones

How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.

more snakes!

Two friends are hiking in the woods. One of them sits on a log and is promptly bitten by a rattlesnake on his butt.

His friend calls the doctor who tells him that he'll have to suck the poison out. He thanks the doctor and hangs up the phone.

When his friend asks him what the doctor said, he looks him sadly in the eyes and says, "Doc says you're gonna die."

Two blind pilots enter a plane..

They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.

The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the plane lifts, avoiding the fence at the last second. All the passengers calm down, thinking it was a bad joke.

In the pilot cabin, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says : "You know what? One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die"

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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things!
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