Factory Joke Thread – December 2025

A SOUTHERNER MOVES UP NORTH

Dec 8 5:00PM-It is starting to snow. Not the first of the season, but the first one we have seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It is beautiful!!

Dec 9 We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub is covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our driveway and the sidewalk. Later a city plow came along and accidently covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved and I waved back and shoveled it away.

Dec 10 It snowed an additional five inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the plow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-gray.

Dec 11 It warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. I bought snow tires for both cars. Then I fell on my ass in the driveway. I had to pay $145 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected tonight.

Dec 12 It is still cold! I had to sell the wife's car and buy a 4x4 so she could get to work. She slid into a guardrail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. We had another eight inches of the white shit last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and crud. More shoveling is in store for me today. That Goddamn snowplow had been by twice already today.

Dec 13 2 outside. More @#!&%! snow! There is not a tree or shrub on our property which hasn't been damaged. The power was off most of the night. We tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. The car slid on ice on the way to the emergency room and was totaled.

Dec 14 Goddamn @#!&%! white shit keeps on coming down! I have to put on all the clothes I own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow, I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner waiting for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100 MPH and buries our driveway again! The power is still off. The toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Dec 15 Six Goddamn more @#!&%! inches of @#!&%! sleet and @#!&%! ice and God knows what other kind of white @#!&%! shit fell last night! I wounded the @#!&%! snowplow asshole with an ice ax but he got away! My wife left me! The car won't start! I think I am going snowblind! I can't move my toes! I haven't seen the Sun in weeks! More snow predicted! The wind chill is -22 @#!&%! degrees! I'm moving back to North Carolina!

I guess you could say he has a Taipei personality.

What pop star had the big country hit "Paper Roses" in the mid s70's

Answer Below

Marie Osmond