Thought You Heard Everything - Think Again

I guess they forgot about the latter part of the ads where they usually state something about enjoying in moderation.

Of course if this would by chance win, then I suppose there could be a lot more law suits for child support since there are lots of babies born due to alcohol consumption.

There's a picture on the web of an overweight guy holding a sign that says, "Spoons made me fat."

LMAO!!!!

Ha!

Isn't this the same as smokers suing cigarette companies?

Cigarettes were health issues, these guys did crimes.

Unbelievable!!!

Fred

Now, before you tune out, hear me out.

I think suing everyone, and every company, will solve our problems, all of them. Someone cuts you off in traffic? Sue them. You get in a car accident? Sue the radio station for playing a good song during rush hour, thus distracting you.

Or maybe sue the civil engineer for not making the grade 15 degrees rather than 14.5 degrees which may have resulted in an accident.

I'd like to file a lawsuit against everyone to cover all the stuff that happens everywhere, all the time.

But before I do that, maybe I'll move for a preliminary injunction against everyone to prevent more stuff from happening during the adjudication of my main lawsuit.

Yeah, that's what I am going to do. Me v. Everyone et. al. That's it.

Stuff happens? Sue someone. Doesn't matter who. Just sue them. That will get their attention.

Got no case, no facts, no theory, no chance of winning? Sue them anyway, I say.

Sue them till they bleed.

How much did they make in profits last year ? Well, we'd better sue them for making so much money. Because we KNOW that the more money people have, the more likely they're guilty of something, right?

Maybe if we sue everyone people will wake up and realize that they have an obligation to make sure that stuff doesn't happen to me.

See, suing everyone sounds good doesn't it?

Well, this raises the interesting issue of where to hold a trial when you sue everyone, never mind who would sit on the jury since the potential jurors would be part of the defendant class. Well, I think I'll have to file a companion lawsuit naming the founders of our country for not foreseeing my need to sue everyone. Yeah, that's it.

I think your heart is in the right place, but I'm not sure about your mind. Heh.

You did know that was tongue in cheek, right?

....you were an attorney!

With the Law Firm of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.

Sounds like Denny Crane from Boston Legal

In Spokane there is a restaurant by the exact name.

That`s what you get for being political correct.When they do the crime, they are not thinking about the victim and if they are caught they make themselves the victims to avoid the crime. In the future we have to carry a gun and have a lawyer on speed dial, to avoid being a victim.

Twinkie defense?