PG-13 travel story

I'll try not to make it as almost X as it almost was, but thought you guys would enjoy a story about using your GPS to be a good samaritan, and the possible pay-back for doing so.

I recently had a trip to Orlando for a week, as like in last week. Went down for CTIA, the annual Wireless Convention. I mainly drive on business so my Mio C310x gets a hardy workout on business trips.]

I was cruising one evening around Orlando, thinking about heading over to the coast for some surf fishing, and passed a stranded motorist in this beauty of a Mercedes convertible.

Well, being a good samaritan, I u-turned (against the better wishes of my Mio, which kept telling me to turn back around!) and pulled up behind this drop-top beauty. I hopped out and came around to find this absodefinitely beaudacious gorgificous blonde woman, staring resolutely at A MAP!!! Oh the horror!!! I immediately grabbed that charlatan of a piece of paper and told this lass that I had an answer for her, if only she could tell me where she was headed. I said I had a GPS unit (Place the S on my chest now!) in my car and she could come stand by the car (if she felt unsafe - with her mobile phone out and dialed to 911 already) while I helped give her directions.

So, as the gentleman that I am (now now, quit all the snickering), I hopped back in my ride and dropped the window, and watched in awe as she strutted back to my car... OMG are legs really that long|?? Okay, okay, back on the subject... she comes up to the window and looks in and see's my Mio and immediately laughs. Of course, being the knight in shining armor that I am (wait, is that armor or armour, as in hot dogs???), I puffed out my chest and asked what exactly was so funny about my guardian angel!?

She immediately responded that it was so small, but so cute... NOW YOU GUYS STOP LAUGHING! I'm serious, stop it or I won't finish!!!

Okay, now are you under control??? Anyway, it gave me a laugh too. She was just so darned cute, and of course I had to help! So, she gave me the directions to where she was going and I mapped it out for her, then showed here on her ... can't say it... paper map... where to go. I asked her what she was going to and she said, now I'm not making this up, that she was an "escort" and was going to meet with this retired 38 year old millionaire. Hmmm... okay, this is one of those times where, no matter how much you love your spouse, the first thought in your mind is "why the heck am I married???".

Now where it goes from PG to PG-13, and I'm trying to stay away from R and XXX... she was so happy that I helped her that she asked if I'd be interested in her "escorting" me for the next two days of the convention... okay, once my heart restarted I said that I was oh so happily married and if I hadn't been I'd immediately take her up on the offer. Then, without me noticing, she reached inside my car, and grabbed a handful of.. okay, it was really small but cute, let's put it that way, and it wasn't a GPS, unless it's spelled different from when I was single. To say the least, I hit a couple of octaves above my normal bass voice, not from pain, from the sheer surprise! Wow! While I commented that her offers were hard to say no to, I really needed to get to my destination, so I watched her saunter back to her car... oh boy, needing the air conditioning more than ever, and once she was on her way and I was breathing again, I turned around and went back to the hotel to go to sleep, to heck with fishing, I'm too old for that plus fishing all in one night...

So, you never actually know what your GPS might do for you, but this is one extra benefit that I surely didn't expect.

Now, go dry your eyes, and quit laughing, your spouse is going to want to know what you're reading on the internet that's making you laugh so hard...