Potential BMW patent to make work difficult…

My first BMW was a 1975 2002. All the light bulbs were easy to change. The owner's manual had torque specs for dozens of screws. My second BMW was a 1987 325i. The owners manual had been dumbed down not expecting you to be able to do things yourself. The light bulbs had become rather more difficult to access. I didn't get a third BMW.

Some of what goes on, especially with respect to German cars, turns me off and was key to my not replacing my 2000 Porsche after 21 years. Much is done in an effort to get you into the dealer!

Take the need of a new battery in a BMW to be “registered” using a diagnostic scan tool or specialized app to tell the car's computer (DME) it's a new battery, allowing it to learn the correct charging strategy. I would suspect that the vehicle can detect that a battery has been disconnected. Why can’t it’s DME then quiz the vehicle owner? Something similar to these potential on-screen questions:

Did you replace the battery? If yes, is it the same type of battery? If no nothing is done. Obviously my example is simple and the query could inclide more steps.

In total agreement. Dating myself.

When I was a little boy, I collected car brochures. So sure, I dreamed of the Olds 455 big blocks when my dad only had the Buick 350.4 and his car which actually I didn't realize, could not have a 455. The Olds version like in "That 70's Show" could.

Anyhow, the first BMW catalog I collected was of the 320i. To me, that was a dream car. When I would see one on the Merritt Parkway I thought, rich New Yorkers have all the good stuff lol But as a little boy, the tool kit that opened from the top of the trunk lid was simply an amazing touch.

Flash forward to 1996--My cousin let me drive his 1995 E36 M3 all by myself. As I drove it, I thought, this is unreal. And, I will never be able to get a car like this, poor me.

Of course when there is a will there is a way. The 2001 BMW 330 Ci was my next dream car, but I could not afford it. Luckily. Some of you are saying, here we go again, like the car battery job going on forever and months. What's his point hahahahaha

19 years ago, my dream came true and I ordered a 2007 335i coupe. Nobody will believe it today, but back then, when a 3 coupe came out, you could not buy one off the lot. They were ordered. And, they turned heads. Today you could drive a hyper car and it would turn less heads than a new BMW coupe would 20 years ago.

At any rate, until the last 2 years, I had never, ever, ever, ever, spent more than $160 for any repair. I did them all myself, even when the ABS DSC hyrdo failed. The enthusiast community was always there to provide step by step instruction, and parts were always pretty much cheaper than a Toyota Corolla, OE to OE. Toyota is expensive.

Does any of the above apply to a 2026 BMW? No. It's not an enthusiast's vehicle any longer. It's a rich person's vehicle, or, a person who is willing to spend to be perceived as such. There are even FWD based models, how insane is that? Most of them have 4 cylinders, not inline 6's.

At the end of the day, BMW didn't lose its way, it adapted to what people want. I'm not even sure if there are more than 3 specific cars that can have a stick--M3 base, M2 base, and maybe the roadster. But base is rare, would have to be ordered. BMW drivers that can't drive a stick? Yes, that's what they've become.

When my car pulls into the dealer for the annual inspection, the jokes start, if you ever want to sell this please let us know. I was told my E92 is on a list of top 5 that the dealer sees. They would love to snatch it from me for the $7k that carfax says its worth. I wouldn't let go of it for $20k.

At any rate 2025, I had to change a DRL bulb (crazy, not easy, bled all over the other side in 2016 so I knew better this time), a rear tail brake bulb (one YouTube the person decided rather than to change just the bulb he ordered the carrier which has the bulb--I was afraid when I saw that and luckily realized Gen Z does that), and of course, on Monday, the battery. I know the battery job inside and out now, and do wonder how I reached 14 years and didn't maybe change it sooner. It didn't pass a load test and the resistance was 6 ohms.

In conclusion, BMW is not an enthusiast's car anymore, it's like Apple. Very valuable brand that will do whatever it has to to maintain that image. Like change the turn signals stalks, wiper stalks, and cruise to be like a Toyota. But taking delivery of a M3 manual is still on my bucket list. I like the M2 as well but it's made in Mexico, I prefer Germany.

As an aside, GM is lurking to do stuff similar, like being devoid of Android Auto and CarPlay when the screen is identical (our Tahoe vs buddy's Blazer--his doesn't have CarPlay)

I wish I could share pics, but I have not a hosting service.

I successfully registered my 90 Ah Costco $124.99 H8. I have seen online where people used a smartphone app to do so, and the app says successful. Then they go in with dealer software, or go to a dealer or indie, and there is no such record that the battery registration happened.

At any rate, it is my belief that without the intelligent battery system they wouldn't last 9 or in my case, 14 years. So there is a reason for it, it's not to dissuade the owner from DIY, as it is on 2025 vehicles. jmoymmv

btw since I now know this system very well since Monday, the IBS sits on the negative side, and gets power from the distribution block. That block was what made me very antsy about touching anything, let alone dismantling it into 3 pieces and unplugging 2 things from it, as I did on Monday. Now I realize it's ok, just more steps.

Also, that if anything broke, it could be $15, to $15 plus $120 to replace, not say $1000....

https://www.fcpeuro.com/products/bmw-power-distribution-box-...

p.s. I broke a wiper cover changing my wiper blades, and it's necessary. It prevents the wiper from detaching from the arm. My bad, I had never done it before as wipers were free when car was new. I duct taped the broken part. The new part came in and I paid $1 over list i.e. $10. It was very difficult to get the duct tape off but I did. Too bad I can't show you what I'm talking about with pics

When I met my wife she had a BMW R1100RT motorcycle. From a technology standpoint it was a very good bike with a lot of nice features. However, an oil change was $700 because of the intensive labor involved in talking all kinds of stuff off the bike, and replacing it, to perform the service, this was at a dealer so no doubt the price was inflated.

She ended up trading it for a Harley, a step backwards in technology, but leaps and bounds forward in cool factor and ease of performing maintenance on it.

My 2007 BMW coupe had its ABS/DSC hyrdo pump fail at 9 years old. Known issue. Dealer price back then was $4,200 (I can only imagine today, maybe double?), so it was not even remotely an option for me. The other thing was a design defect existed, so get the new part installed, and probably 9 years later one is back where they started. I had to DIY for just under $500, to include sending out for repair. I took my time and the car was off the road for 4 months. I made a huge mistake, one that the internet was crickets about so I had to take the lumps. The dealer asked me to tell them the mileage so I turned on the ignition with the ABS pump removed--there must have been more than 40 codes that were thrown, every light on the dash and the wipers turned on to full blast. I asked the forum did this happen to anybody and will it be normal once I get the ABS pump reinstalled? CRICKETS so I had to sweat it out.

This was 2016 during the Takata airbag scandal. Anybody who had a pulse of 40 or greater, could have a BMW loaner car for free. Some people got them and didn't even own the recalled car, that's how badly BMW handled it. I had one for 4 months, some for 1.5 years. Sorta like Costco and their no questions asked free batteries for life that they finally clamped down on. Human nature. I can think of another where there was a free meal on your birthday, the program was cancelled due to people (grown men and women) presenting false ID for multiple free dinners (in 2015 about a $35 value) per year.

At any rate, this ABS pump defect apparently affected motorcycles as well as it was the same pump, different module. The software for this job in 2016, is what I used last Monday to register the new battery.

But, Audi has all the above issues as well!

Yes, indeed. My next car after my 1987 BMW 325i was a 2002 Audi A4. The owner's manual was huge, but very low on practical information. Regarding most bulbs, it essentially said "don't try this at home", and did not even supply the bulb part numbers. I found lists on the net and bought a supply. I still had to seek internet advice to find out how to get into the rear brake light fixture.

I had the power steering fluid go low. The owner's manual did not even show the reservoir location, let alone specify the required fluid. For that I had to get their shop manual.

Nevertheless, I mostly loved the car, and had very few problems in running it well over 100,000 miles in 20 years.

I don't recall any issues with my '91 Audi 80. It was cheap: non-quatro (FWD), manual, plain white. It's crazy double articulated trunk lid made it difficult to fit a ham radio antenna.

I think it was one of the very few cars I ever sold with less than 300K miles. It had ~75K miles and my eldest son was approaching 16 years old. While it wasn't really a fast car, it was way too fast!

When I bought my 1987 BMW 325i it was considered a quick car. The 2002 Audi A4 which replaced it was just about the same quickness, getting similar horsepower out of a smaller engine because of the turbo. By the standards of that year it was still "pretty quick" but not at all remarkable.

Fast-forward to 2026 and I think most of the new pickup trucks purchased here in Albuquerque are quicker than either of those cars.

friend has a BMW and the airbag sensor malfunctioned and while you can get the part aftermarket it will not work unless programmed by the dealer and means you have to get the part from the dealer. bottom line $800 for a $50 part.

of info is missing when you say, "Bottom line $800 for a $50 part."

First of all, there was a Takata airbag scandal, affecting many brands.

Only 2 car companies handed out free loaner cars like candy. BMW, and Honda. Honda had deaths attributable to the scandal, BMW did not.

Since most of this was sorted out in 2016-17, there's really no reason to have an issue in 2026.

Was your friend's vehicle serviced under the recall? Was it involved in an accident? Is your friend the original owner? Who says it needs airbag work? What is the trouble code? What supports it's $800 for a $50 part?

I think imho there is a lot of missing information. Imagine if this were a Toyota, how much more expensive it would be.

As a BMW owner, I was given a free loaner car, and was awarded cash as part of the class action. For once, it wasn't $2 or $20, it was up there. The car co. has clearly changed, but it handled the airbag scandal properly.

I totally get that there are times OEM is a wise alternative to genuine, and that aftermarket even works. On an airbag, who is willing to do aftermarket, when genuine has caused deaths, at least with Honda? Rhetorical.

The dumb joke from my native Brooklyn where we have trouble with silent "Rs" is spelled "torque is cheap". For those who find Brooklynese foreign it is pronounced "talk is cheap".