It is so cold that ...

It is so cold that I am glad I live in North Carolina, instead of Indiana!

its colder than a witchs' whole body

Politicians have to keep their hands in their own pockets...

I saw a teenager with his pants pulled up!

even the witch is wearing a bra.

Are going into the ice cream freezers to warm up...

I am going back to Florida to get warmer

It was so cold this morning that I saw a rooster with a capon!

Try Alaska. It's 50+ degrees warmer in Anchorage than Minneapolis.

This ex-midwesterner, south Floridian caught a cold when the cold front came through.

Ok, so I guess it wasn't that funny for me either

The prison authorities have agreed to let Rod Blagejovich grow his hair back again.

I looked at my brass monkey on the porch. His cajones were gone. They froze off.

It is so cold that even squirrels don`t know where they nuts are !

I can't wait until I can move all these brass monkeys back outside

It's so cold that I had to wear a flannel shirt over my tee shirt. (Didn't button it though.)

It is so cold that:

-Jill is complaining that if I don't turn the heat up in the car she is going to stop "recalculating." For that matter it's too cold to argue with Jill.

-The compass disk on the eTrex30 has frozen in place.

-Took the Nuvi out for a spin just to charge its batteries. The 1450 insisted I change to an AWD screen vehicle ... equipped w/snow tires no less!

-Our southern cousins are claiming that their units have crashed w/this message; "either our location readings are wrong or the weather is wrong ...which is it?"

-It is so cold that most of Google Earth's Street Views are showing ice & snow. No wait that's the Weather Channel. Google Earth just needs a new filter to clear atmospheric ice crystals at elevation.

-Who will be the first city to report that the lenses on their stop light & speed cameras have frozen up so they are now useless?

It Is So Cold That ...

I saw a greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.

Cows are giving ice cream instead of milk.

Mayor Rahm & Gov Quinn had their hands in their own pockets.

that my dog is stuck to the fire hydrant with his leg in the air.

It's so cold my dog won't go outside!

Might go for a swim tomorrow, Got sunburn last week while water-skiing. I feel a little sorry for you guys. The ski slopes will be looking good. It'll be nice again in 6 months.

If I may, I'd like to be the first to tell you to sod off!

Good answer, I deserve it.

Our turn is coming. Every time you get a bad winter ours goes along similar lines. So I think we will get lots of snow this winter.

Take care thinking of you

I wished I took that job opportunity in San Jose many moons ago!

my beer is freezing (I keep it in the garage in the winter).

ice cubes are3 wearing jackets

wait six months, the shoe will be on the other foot.

No freezing rain on our parade...

Spent a week in fl and was cold enough to decide to come back north and now there's snow in my yard

It's so cold that when I went outside to speak to my neighbor, my words froze in midair!

Nuvi1300WTGPS

It's so cold that when I power up my Nuvi, the screen shows nothing but snow! Or maybe the screen is just broken...

That's why I live in Arizona, supposed to be 80° by Thursday..

..that the ice cream cone I got today actually got harder when I walked outside.

Being an old fart, I spend the summers up north and the winters not too far from Puerto Vallarta in Mexico.

For me cold now is anything below 68 degrees!

Froze my water pipes at the well in Waynesboro, TN Never seen the temp below zero in over ten years.

My dog went out for a pee this morning, he's still stuck to the fire hydrant.

75 is cold for me.

It's so cold that my thermometer couldn't make it in today.

that Barnes and Noble did move the Global warming books over to Science Fiction section....

It's so Cold, that I no longer have problem with my GPS mount sticking to windshield...frozen like tongue to flagpole.

It's so Cold, my GPS will only route to Key West Fla.

Now that's cold!

I would rather mow grass than shovel snow

In Birmingham, Ala., a Chick-Fil-A store began cooking hundreds of chicken sandwiches and handing them out for free to stranded motorists along the highway. Anyone who needed a warm place to sleep was invited to do so at Chick-Fil-A for as long as needed. The next morning, workers prepared fresh chicken biscuits — which, again, they distributed free

I am having the same problem.

Canadians have finally swapped their shorts for trousers.

I am also having the same problem, And I dont even own a dog!!!!

Ice roof damming, caused be repeated snow melting then refreezing on roofs can produce serious water infusion into roof, attics, and then ultimately home interiors. In addition to shingle damage, when water starts entering homes this way, particularly within exterior walls, mold can develop with consequent health problems. Roof ice damming might look picturesque to photographers, however something dreaded here in the northeast. Here's hoping for a serious thaw which is the only known solution (short of installing a warming coil to prevent the problem in following years).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_dam_%28roof%29#Methods_of_...

I had to put on pants instead of shorts.

When we first bought our house, we had the occasional dams and icicles when conditions were right. They are both caused by the same issue. I installed heater cables, which helped but did not completely eliminate the problem. Heater cables treat the symptoms, not the cause.

Adding more attic insulation and increasing the attic vents cured the issue for us. Haven't had an icicle or dam since. An added benefit is that the house is also cooler in summer and the A/C runs less.

mine too