Factory Joke Thread – May 2026

Love thy enemies and it will drive them crazy.

You can't finish if you never start

Today money can't buy a very good investment.

A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. 'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. 
 'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead?

Great Joke. Never saw it coming.

"May The Schwartz be with you..."
Spaceballs

On all of the above.

"Yes, I have a cold."

"AND, you have a cold?"

Nice

Retirement means 10 time more husband and half as much money.

If I had of known grandchildren were so much fun, I'd had them first

I'm in no shape to exercise

My favorite thing for dinner Reservations!

All the credit for these goes to Dorothy Galyean

Only to find out the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful lady. “I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the $75,000 asking price,” said the man. “You insisted there could be no discounts on this model, yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there.”

“Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and just look at her. How could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys. “There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get this joker to drop the price... See you later, grandpa.”

Goes to show you… Never mess with the elderly!

As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
And further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said.. . ...
' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard .. ... ..
' No doctor but the song you were whistling was .. . ...
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener .'

hello

are like old mythical gods. All rules and no forgiveness. I

Dad knows all the answers
*Except when he disagrees with mom!

Technically, every sock is buy one get one free.