Factory Joke Thread – February 2025

Who were the long-time host of "HEE HAW"?

Answer will be posted Tomorrow..

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.
" At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

Of course! February 14th!

LMFAO!!!!!

Answer is Roy Clark and Buck Owens.

Correct!

Groan!!!

So I gave him a little plaque.

Was going to reveal my fave, but need everyone to promise not to spread it around.

A blonde is overweight so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat for two weeks and you'll lose at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. The doctor exclaims, "That's amazing! Did you follow my diet?" The blonde nods. "I thought I was going to drop dead every third day from all the skipping!"

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three newly inducted nuns from other city heading his way.

Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood.

Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

"Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser".

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice, and three times but nothing happens.

So she gives several more tugs, then yells:

"Holy Mary, Mother of God! Hand Lotion Too!"

Buck Owens and Roy Clark

Wow Awesome

…I saw a bumper sticker that said “I’m a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal.” Suddenly I realized just how many proctologists are on the roads…

This is just so true - and I admit, sometimes it fits.

I never called you stupid, but when I asked you to spell “orange” and you asked me the fruit or color it kinda caught me off guard.

for the loughs

Don't think I'd do it again. Ruined my convertible's upholstery.

Do you know the difference between diarrhea and the sh*ts?

It's diarrhea if you make it to the bathroom.

My next door neighbor is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s.

Every morning at 9 AM he knocks on my door and asks me if I’ve seen his wife.

Which means every morning at 9 AM I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for several years.

I could move. I could just not answer the door. But it’s worth it to me to answer that door every morning at 9 AM and tell this 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife is dead just to see the smile on his face.

Little Jeffery had done something clever, and his father said, "His intelligence must have come from me, don't think?
"I guess so", the mother replied. "I still have mine".

"Rated XXX--NO ONE ALLOWED"

Challenging His Wife with a riddle, the man said
You are the engineer of a train. there are 36 people
on board. At the first stop 10 get off and 2 get on, At the next stop no one gets off but 5 get on. now for the question: what is the name of the engineer?

How should I know snapped the wife.

See You never listen! Right at the start I said You are the engineer of the train

(Alex Thien in Milwaukee Sentinel)

I Like

"Because you're funny.”

"I thought it was because I was good in bed.”

“See? You’re hilarious!”

Most bald people still own a comb...
They just can't part with it.

Nice